Why Ballet?
January 11, 2007
Turns out that it’s not just my pics WP doesn’t like, I don’t think it likes my computer either. I have been having a horrible time getting to even view the blog let alone write anything. *sigh* I wrote this out yesterday but when I was ready to publish WP basically kicked me out.
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Since I was asked by Only Sometimes Clever why we put the boys into ballet I thought I’d answer this terribly easy question. Easy because it is the question I am asked more than any other. Apparently boys in ballet is more unheard of than homeschooling. 
Well, it all started about 3 yrs ago when DB2 was just a little guy and needed a little physical activity. We’re not sure if it’s simply his nature to be inactive or if was health issues but he just didn’t like to get up and go much. At the park or playland he would just watch his brother play and here he just liked to lay around and “read” books. At any rate, this was no good for advancing his physical therapy at all so we thought dance would be good since it helps with balance and coordination.
We started him through the city and he did very well. He really enjoyed it. We did pull him briefly while looking for another program when he was three due to the dance studio feeling it necessary to play hip-hop. For those who are wondering, hip-hop is a bad thing for kids to dance to. Not just the music is crappy, the style of dance is really bad for their developing bodies. But I digress…
We put DB2 into a program at a (now) formerly CRC church in Chino and, after he adjusted, he has done very well. He surprised us last year when he actually enjoyed his first perfomrance. I was certain he’d hate being on stage in front of all those people. I asked him after his Christmas show, “Why do you like being on stage? Is it the applause?” He answered with a huge grin and excited nod. roflol.
DB1 got into ballet because of Swan Lake. We checked it out from the library two summers ago and he was hooked. I was glad because when he tried to do ballet with
DB2 at home it was obvious that his little “developmentally challenged” brother had surpassed him in skill. hehehe. So we put him in at IPB because they had a boys class at the time. On his first night, ie his eval, I commented that in one hour he’d had more exercise than he had in an entire season of baseball.
DB1 loves ballet. He is not intimidated by the number of girls involved. He likes girls as much as boys (although as they get older he’s beginning to see that girls have these weird, petty behaviors that always perplex guys) so it never bothers him to be the only boy in the class. And, of course, he loves to perform in front of an audience, so this is the best thing for him. It doesn’t bother him to go out onstage in front of hundreds of people. (I can assure you he didn’t get that from me or his dad. 
)
DB3 has wanted to follow in his brothers’ footsteps for quite some time. He’s so excited to finally be dancing. I hope they will continue all the way at least until they graduate high school. It’s a great form of exercise, probably the best available to children.
Finally, I am a rebel. Always have been. If everyone else is doing something I want to do the exact opposite. When people give me that “you’re not serious” look when I tell them what I’m doing, I find it encouraging. The more annoying I can be to others this way, the happier I am. 
Having boys in ballet while living in what passes for podunk-ville in LA is just about the ultimate rebellion.
My son was in ballet for awhile (we also homeschool). One day I was down at the ballet studio signing his younger sister up for her first ballet class, so as we waited in the lobby, I asked my son, “What would you like to do this year? Soccer? Martial Arts? Wrestling?” He looked around the ballet school’s lobby and said wistfully, “I want to do THIS!” It took me a moment to even figure out what he meant. When it finally dawned on me he was talking about ballet, he said, “I’ve wanted to do this for as long as I can remember.” Suddenly I had flashbacks to my little toddler son standing next me while we watched the last few minutes of his older sister’s ballet class … and he was quietly and intensely trying to do the same moves as the class. The ballet teacher even noticed! How come I didn’t? I felt like such a dork when I realized that I’d missed the clues about a strong interest my son had just because I wasn’t looking for it. Long story short, he LOVED ballet! He was good at it! Yes, his friends teased him about it. But he didn’t care because he was pursuing his dream. And when some of his friends’ family were at the recital to see the various sisters dance, when my son came out on stage, tall and proud and manly (or as manly a ten-year-old can be), I could see the mouths drop open and the respect begin to show in all their eyes. I don’t know why people assume ballet dancers (the man variety) are girly men … the guys in ballet productions don’t wear tutu’s or point shoes. They LEAP and JUMP and SPIN and carry those beautiful women over their heads. They’re strong. They’re confident. Anyway, my son eventually chose not to continue with ballet (which surprised everyone), but all that dance training has paid off in so many ways. He’s not afraid to be different from other people, he’s coordinated (skateboarding is his new passion and I really believe all the ballet training is paying off in his abilities to move his feet and manipulate the skateboad … he’s good!), he treats all girls with respect and kindness (they were his dance partners that he needed to learn to hold and move with in a gentle yet strong way), and he loves Swing Dancing now which also puts those ballet lessons to good use. So here is six years later, no longer in ballet, but I can certainly see many of the benefits from that time in his life still with him today.
~Debi
Good to read this your post about ballet! Your points are exciting!
Looking forward to reading more here about ballet!
I had entered a string of words in a Google search on a topic unrelated to ballet, but one of the entries that came up was your blog. When I clicked it out of curiosity and saw your “Why Ballet?” response to people who had asked you that question (and I note you said you got this question more than any other), I knew I needed to share some thoughts from my family’s experience.
It was twenty years ago last month that my family went to see a production of The Nutcracker. We hadn’t gone to the ballet before, but that Christmas season, after seeing the Nutcracker performed on television, our 11-year-old son asked if we could go see a live performance. When we saw it, he was totally enthralled and captivated by the ballet. It was the Balanchine version of The Nutcracker, so the role of the Prince was played by a boy who was the same age as our son. On the way home that evening, I wasn’t terribly surprised when he told us he wanted to start taking ballet classes. I remember him saying “next year, I want to be the Prince.”
That was the beginning of two years during which ballet became his whole life. He took classes four days a week and wished he could go all seven days. He was obsessed with it. He enthusiastically read books about ballet and loved to watch performances. Our younger son idolized his brother, so he took up ballet too. Their ballet school was affiliated with a pre-professional company, and the following December, our oldest son got his wish to be the Prince in that company’s Nutcracker. We had never seen him happier, so we were happy for him. Even before then, his mind was already made up that he wanted to be a professional ballet dancer.
But it all ended after two years, when the teasing and ridicule that were heaped on our son at school became too much for him to handle. In the first year, only a few trusted friends knew he was a ballet student (the school was far enough away that only a couple of students attended his public school). But during the second year, the word was out, and it got progressively worse. He came to feel socially isolated and ostracized except by a few close friends. He still loved ballet, right up to the point when he gave it up (shortly after the second year’s Nutcracker). Looking back, we are still convinced ballet was one of the best experiences he ever had. He has never regretted that he was a ballet student, and he wishes the circumstances had been such that he could have followed through on his dream of making it his career. He is still angry that he was subjected to so much negative reaction from a closed-minded society.
Our sons have been adults for several years now. When they were growing up, it never once crossed our minds to consider home schooling for them. Now, it occurs to us that if our sons had the experience of being home-schooled, they may have continued to be enthusiastic ballet students throughout their school yours, as you said you hope your boys will.
We can’t turn the clock back and do things differently. I think the prospects for your boys are much brighter. You have given one of the best arguments for the benefits of home schooling. It gives children a chance to pursue their interests and dreams, whatever they may be, without being shackled by the pressures of pop culture. Thanks for sharing something so enlightening. I wish your family the best.